Some lady at Kroger got all mad at me. Said I almost hit her with my carts. I had like 6 of the big ones. What was I supposed to do, kill all my momentum? The things were loud as fuck; what, she didn’t hear me coming?! I didn’t hit her, that’s the important part!
Ugh. No change in the green egg. I held a stethoscope up but there was nothing. Ugh. I know it’s kind of silly, expecting something from the first try, but I’m a pretty silly person. I started a second trial, this time mixing moon water and whole milk. I also used a push pin to make a little hole in the top of the egg. i’m pretty sure there’s like an air pocket up there or something so I didn’t pucture any of the potential life. I hope I hope I hope she grows into something wonderful. Ugh, what a joy!
What do you believe in, David?
Creation.
Am I an asshole? Am I the worst person on the planet or aren’t I? Am I evil for wanting to nurture new life in a world that feels so close to ending? Is that selfish of me? I wish I could be pregnant. How beautiful, that whole process. Ugh. Uhg ugh ugh!! I very much hope some institution sees the scientific value in all my bullshit and gives me some cash. I would very much like to not work at Kroger. I feel like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters, except my ulterior motive is becoming a mother instead of scoring chicks. Surely that makes me a better person than that guy in that movie?
Scene?
Heard.
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